Life Change

Well there you have it. The bulk of the hardest part is done....
I let Aaron know that the boys and I will be moving home in December.
I also informed him of modifications to the decree and made the appropriate changes today.
For the first time, my babies are spending the weekend with their dad and his "friend"...and there isn't a thing I can do about it.

Life sure can change on a dime.

So here I sit....in a very quiet house, listening to the crackle of the fire and whir of the washing machine while a tear slips down my face. It's real. This is all really happening. I am still trying to grasp that this is my life.

I look around the rooms and wonder...what do I take? What's most important? Who am I in the midst of all this....and then it becomes real that once we leave, I may never see my dog again...or anything else that was "ours" for that matter. And then it hits me that I will have to say goodbye to Aaron. To us. For real and for good. More tears. Our good times were good...and even our bad times were better than most peoples good times. Sometimes it's just not enough...hopefully we will both be better for it all. I pray he finds his own true happiness...not in someone else, but within himself. So much is just so bittersweet. I am done being angry....I think we have entered the grieving phase that comes with acceptance. I'll take this part over the others, but it is still hard and heavy on the heart.

At the end of the day, I know I will be fine. I will do my best. I will carry on and become a stronger, more confident Adrienne with one heck of a story to tell. But for this tiny moment, I need to be sad...get it out and then begin the moving on.